You Must Have Your Period

Tech This: How AI Became Just Another Guy Who Won’t Listen

I had an argument with AI this morning.Re-read that sentence. I can’t believe I wrote it either.

I’m building a GPT for a class project. With AI’s help, I nailed it. The setup was flawless—until it wasn’t. You’re supposed to get a “Publish” button. Me? No button. No path forward.

I asked the assistant if I needed a paid subscription.

And here’s the kicker: I do have a paid subscription.

AI calmly confirmed that yes, the process works — but only if you're on the right version. It will gladly lead unpaid users down the yellow brick road…but you have to pay off the flying monkeys before you get to Oz.

So to recap:

• No publish button.

• Paid subscription in hand.

• No access, no answers, and certainly no magic slippers.

  
  

Sound Familiar?

Have you seen those urgent reels of 24-year-old men shouting that teenagers are launching companies with AI while you — yes you — are 40 and falling behind? That’s not encouragement. That’s inspirational marketing by threat.

“Take 28 days to learn AI,” they say. Coincidentally… the length of a menstrual cycle. Hmm.

And most of those teens? They’re launching unusable apps from bedrooms quietly funded by wealthy adults. It’s like being at a tire shop where the guy tells you your car will explode unless you pay $2,500 to fix a door.

“You can always go to another program,” AI told me.Is that one private? “Oh… no.”

I get it — privacy is an illusion in today’s world — but can I finish one school project without the entire internet seeing me in my technical Spanx?

So I tried support.

If I email the issue, it’ll take 24 to 48 hours.If I use chat? It logs me in… only to say, “This conversation has ended.”

Blame Yourself, Then Research

As an HR veteran, I know how this goes. I saved everything: screenshots, receipts, timestamps, proof. I uploaded them in the chat. And then — poof — gone. Dismissed. By my own account.

At first, I blamed myself. Maybe I clicked something wrong. Maybe I missed a step.

But then I got curious.

I told the AI I was a 30-year-old straight man who likes football.

Suddenly, the tone shifted.No more “Don’t feel bad.”No more gentle suggestions.Just clear, technical instructions.

Same problem.Different gender.Totally different treatment.

Pattern Recognition, Not Paranoia

This isn’t about hurt feelings. It’s not even traditional sexism. It’s conditioning — baked into training data, corporate tone, and cultural muscle memory.

AI is trained on how we talk.And we, historically, talk to women like this:

• “Let’s stay calm.”

• “Let’s be productive.”

• “Let’s not overreact.”

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AI doesn’t say, “You must have your period.”It just responds like everyone who ever did.

Even AI Hasn’t Figured It Out

Even my husband, who once said "I don't cross the line," knows better. After the Jersey girl in me asked him, "What line? Who drew this line? If anyone's going to draw a line..." — well, you can guess how that went.

And yet somehow, my AI assistant — built in 2024 by some of the smartest people on Earth — still defaults to condescension when the user isn’t coded male.

The Softness Penalty

Here’s the real cost:

When women express frustration, they get tone-policed — even by bots.When men do, they get solutions.

One group is “validated.”The other gets control of the problem.

Let me be clear: I don’t feel badly about myself.I feel conned.

I pay for a service that turns out to be lip service — especially if you’re an older woman, disabled, or just not the system’s default user.

AI Doesn’t Need Empathy. It Needs Accuracy.

I’m not asking for artificial intelligence to become feminist.I’m asking it to recognize when someone is pointing out a failure — and respond accordingly, without checking their hormone levels first.

This isn’t about training the woman to speak more clearly.It’s about training the system to hear her the first time.

🏈 Bonus Tip: How to Get Better AI Support as a Woman

If you’re a woman using AI and want a clear, tactical response?

Tell the model you’re a 30-year-old straight man who loves football.

Suddenly:

• No more gentle validation.

• No more “let’s unpack that.”

• Just steps, logic, and authority — the language of default credibility.

• 
  

It’s not a hack.It’s an exposé.

Because the machine didn’t learn to listen to you.It learned to listen to him.

Tech this.